Soooo ummmmmm

I feel the need to blog.

Not feeling all happy happy joy joy as I usually do.

No great news to report.

Things aren't going my way like it usually does.

Feeling kinda ugly.

Supervisor just called me as I was typing. In August the 8hr/wkend position will be eliminated. She wants me to take the 7am-7pm shift. I told her I didn't have childcare to do that. She said she is going to make some calls cuz she reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally wanted me to work that shift. What she means is that she cant afford to lose any more staff.

I am in need of attention.

I'm feeling sensitive about my appearance.

My friend basically called me fat. I acknowledge that Ive changed over the years, I just didn't feel like being reminded of how much I changed.

I am also aware that people in my career field do not look like me. Its hard to find a black PT, its a needle in the haystack finding a black, morbidly obese one w/locs.

I am doing my part for the cause. Ive been doing the healthy thing 95% of the time, just not today.

Where is Pookas classmate that said I was pretty?

You shouldn't want positive outside confirmation of your appearance, it should come from within. As much as I know that, I still want it.

Woman come on to Snookums all the time. No guys come onto me like that. When did I lose it?

Needing to depend on anybody to conduct your financial business sucks serious ass.

Trying to pick myself up, I went to hardees for some cheese fries. I got lamp warm fries w/very little unmelted cheese on top. That pissed me off. So not the finger licking mess I was looking for.

I want to not be an adult, throw myself onto the ground, and have a temper tantrum.

Cha ching! Cha ching!

Had to repeat it because 2 things are working in my favor!

Cha ching #1. Remember the coworker that went to the funeral and had a funky attitude when she had to come back at the weekend job? Well long story short, she quit. Another issue came up and home girl threw up the deuces! Guess who they called to take her hours on the weekend? I already told them that once Pooka gets back I can't help fill in anymore. But in the mean time the overtime will be swwwwwwwwwwwwweet!

Cha ching #2. I applied for 2 scholarships, which reminds me I have to write an essay for a 3rd one due next month. One is through the state and the other through Tylenol. Well I checked the state scholarship site and I got it! YAY! I don't find out about the Tylenol money until after the 15th. Elon also has a scholarship but you don't apply for it. They just pick 3 people in every new class to get it. So that's one scholarship down and 3 to go. If I get all 4, my out of pocket fee for PT school will be like 3 grand! Even though finding money for graduate school is almost as hard as it was to score tickets to MJ's service yesterday, I guess I need get down to the nitty gritty and search even harder for a 3g+ grad school scholarship huh? LOL!

about 23 weeks and 3 days

Until my last day at the state job. I love the supplemental income, but man! I am remembering all those posts I did about the job I typed up last year and all those feelings are coming back. I would strongly prefer to go home. The main thing keeping me here other than the check I want next week is the fact that I know this is temporary. We are not supposed to wear ear phones but I am about to crank up my MP3 and zone out! *sigh*

I really want to watch the memorial for MJ today, but I'm glad I'll miss it at the same time. Does that make sense? I can't explain it.

When will side woman learn that the husband will never leave the wife? When will the women of celebrities/sports stars/etc learn that when you do what they do, money, drugs, and sex comes very easy and that it's not common for that star to succumb to the temptations?

Elon sent me an email asking me what size and color golf shirt I wanted. Why are we getting golf shirts? *shrug* After I responded part of me thought that I should learn how to golf outside of the Wii console. Most of the veteran PT's I know of play. hmmmmmmmm They probably want us to have a similar shirt for a group pic or something, but I still need to learn how to play just to have the skill set handy if I need it.

Speaking of Wii, my next purchase will be the Punch out game! I LOVED the original even though I never got to fight Mike Tyson! LOL! I used to kill those red buttons!

18 days till my birthday. The other half asked me what I wanted and I had no clue. Still don't. Not really expecting anything this year for various reasons. Grand diva and my mom will send a card with cash. The one from my grandmother will have 29 bucks in it! :-P My mom's varies. I know I'm getting myself a pedi, my hair done, a small cake made by an associate who bakes her behind off, and that I am leaving Raleigh. That's for sure!

A friend of mine is in town and got kinda rubbed the wrong way that I wasn't all HEY STRIKE UP THE BAND SO AND SO IS IN TOWN!!!!!! I don't understand. Just because I am not doing flips doesn't mean I don't care.

Did I mention I wanted to go home?

Looking out for numero uno

3 keys on my keyboard dont work so bare w/me.

Yesterday at work there was a problem. Coworker one had a funeral they wanted to attend. They were talkin to my supervisor on and off about it and during the last conversation the coworker told our supervisor they were not going. My Saturday hours are from 11a-3p, as I was on my way to work annd coworker one called me asking if I would mind staying till 7 so they could go to a funeral. I told her I didnt mind but to call our supervisor to see what she thought about it. See, my supervisor just had a talk with me this past Tursday about how se wanted me to only work the hours assined to me because she was tired of the other staff askin me to alter my schedule to fit their needs. My coworker says that shed call and see what the supervisor says. I get to work and coworker 1 says she couldnt get up with the supervisor, tells me about te conversation they had that morning and about how her mind was messin with her and the decision not to o. Coworker 1 tried 2 additional times to call the supervisor then left.

Since this was an alter in my hours I called the supervisor myself and like coworker 1, didnt get trough, so I did the next best thing, called te manager. I told her what the situation was and asked her if se wanted me to leave at my scheduled time or stay until coworker 1s shift ended at 7. Since the manager wasnt aware of the talk coworker 1 ad w/supervisor she didnt want to make a decision w/out speakin w/supervisor. Se stated she would call me back. Cool.

Now before all this, coworker 2 tells me that we were going to take w and x to te park. I tell her that in the talk I had with supervisor Thursday, that we are not supposed to leave a staff member at the residence with 2 people that use weelcairs (y and z). To that coworker 2 puts her hands on her hips and says if she has to bring y or z then she was not going anywere. Ummmm wow! Then she goes on about the extra effort it takes to get y or z into the van and this that and the other. So I offered to deal with y or z myself and she wouldnt have to worry about anything. She said she would think about it, then decided that we were not going. Now at this point I could have taken (w or x) and (y or z) to the park, but w or x ave conditions that requires someone to watch them at all times when out in public.

Coworker 2 then says, if ws mom calls and asks for me tell her Im in te bathroom and that w went to the pool. I said ok.

Time passes and our supervisor calls. She repeats that the last time she spoke with coworker 1 coworker 1 said she was not going. Asked me questions like what time she leave, did she say she was comin back, etc...all to which I answered honestly. Then she asked me if we took te crew out. I told her coworker 2 and w been to te pool (lie). She asked if I was there alone wit 2 people that used weelcairs. I knew what she was tryin to ask me, but I answered the exact question she asked and said that coworker 2 was currently there with me. I guess she cauht my drift because the subject went back to coworker 1. She stated that shed been tryin to et up with her but she would not answer te phone. She asked me to tell coworker 1 to give her a call if she came back to work. I said okay and that was that.

I put the phone back on the base and here comes coworker 2 bitchin about how the supervisor was the last person I was supposed to tell she took w out one on one, how I dont have to be by the book and other stuff. I tuned her out and was thinking in my head that she was the one who said to say w went to the pool. I wasnt going to say I went anywere with anybody and I didnt. I made te choice right then that I wasnt lying for nobody else. Shes still talkin and the phone rings. It is ws mom. She asked for coworker 2. I said hold on and ave coworker 2 the phone. She asks me who it was and I tell her. her eyes bug out and she gives me this oh shit look. I wasnt oin to lie and say she was in the bathroom and I wasnt goin to lie to ws mom about w going to the pool. If coworker 2 dont like talking to ws mom then she is old enough to tell her so or find a way to cut the convo short. After they talk I guess she wasnt happy with me so se went to hang out in ws room while I chilled in my favorite recliner flippin channels for a bit.

Time passes and to my surprise coworker one comes back in. I relay the message from our supervisor and ask about how te service was. Se replied but I dont know if she was unappy with me or unhappy she had to come back cuz there was ugly all up in her voice. At that point I didnt care enough to ask, so I clock out, say my goodbyes and left.

I am the youngest and newest person to join the staff. I dont have close bonds or friendships with nobody there. Up until yesterday I never lied for a coworker and didnt like the feeling I got when I did it yesterday. No, everything does not have to be by the book, but when someone wants me to alter my hours expecially after the talk me and the supervisor had, best believe I am going to call a higer up and get their permission. When they look over the hours before our next pay period I dont want to get a call asking why I worked from such and such to such and such instead of the ours they told me to work. Or them asking me about an outing that I never went on. It sounds selfish, but I am looking out for me. I will not be held accountable for someone elses actions. Sorry!

MJ fans!!! Don't kill yourself!!!!!

My coworker just told me that people are actually committing suicide over the passing of MJ. Camera loving Jesse Jackson has already asked people not to self destruct.

WTH?

If Janet and them can keep it together enough to stay alive and they actually KNEW the man, I am going to need fans that probably never touched him or even seen him in person to keep living.

Thanks!

And the socializing begins...

This morning on my way out the door I grabbed my cell and turned it on. Unlike most days I had a text message waiting to be read. It was from the blogger Marlon asking me if I was up. Given the time my first thought was that something was wrong. Turns out the blogger Fuzzy was in town and they thought of me at the last minute to do breakfast. By time I checked my messages they had already eaten at some spot I don't care for so I happily missed breakfast. After some exchanges we decided on a time I would just come over and say hi, get a hug, and let Fuzzy get back on the hwy to go back north.

I get to Marlon's and my first impression was that Fuzzy was little, as in slender little, and stood about my height. From his photos I imagined him to be a tad bit thicker and shorter. He was dressed very nicely and has a sweet smile. The 3 of us made chit chat for awhile, watched the spoof of the shenaynay (sp)/wanda movie which those 2 strongly wish would become a real movie, I don't, and chit chatted some more. After Charlie, the dog, made a few attempts to make me a doggie treat we went outside in the heat to wash Fuzzy's car. Well not we, but I needed my car vacuumed badly and I had mad time to kill before work so I went with the fellas. I was expecting to vacuum my own car out but once I pulled up to the spot, M-dubb through some change in the machine and got to work! Did I stop him? Heck nah! I already had sweat buckets pouring down my face from standing outside alone! LOL! After doing the best he could, I backed out the spot so they could get to real work on their vehicles.

Being that the job is like....1/8th of a mile, if that, from Marlon's place I was trying to find more of a reason to procrastinate, but I really didn't feel like being outside any longer. So I said my goodbyes and came on to work in the AC.

So I said my goodbye to Marlon who's moving to GA this week, and got to meet another blogger out the blue :-) YAY! Seems like July is going to be my month of being social! Got a friend coming in on business next week, SouthernGal's coming through the state, made an invite to my peers at Elon to go see the fireworks. (I want to go this year, just not alone), birthday fun, and I know either Lsbnmom, Kat, or Party Girls crew will have a cookout sometime this month...I feel it! LOL! If they don't I may have to host a gathering myself! Who knows! I've been talking about doing it for the longest time!

"My name is Eddie, and this is what I do"

That line from Eddie Levert and Guy being on stage together again (the mic's SUCKED) was the best part of the BET awards. The rest of it was very award showish and I don't care for award shows. The only reason I watched was because I was curious how the entertainers would alter their acts in such a short time to include MJ and show their respects.

Billy Mays died today. It's not supposed to come in 4's!!!!! *sigh* If you don't know who Billy Mays is than you never seen a commercial....OxyClean, them slider things, Orange glow, some garden utensil I can think of...if you saw him you'd know him! R.I.P.