Prayer request

If speaking to higher powers is something you participate in please place somewhere in your conversation with Him PartyGirl, LadyKat, and T. Without putting too much detail out there I'll say that T is my 13 year old "niece". She's going through some things and her coping mechanism or way of communicating what she's going through is running away from home. She has run away numerous times and have been brought home by various law enforcement, good samaritans, and sometimes of her own accord.

The professional "system" is failing across the board and there isn't much anyone can do but pray.

Today she didn't get on the bus and to my knowledge hasn't come home or been brought home by someone yet.

I don't even want to imagine what it would be like not knowing where Pooka was or if she was safe or not.

****EDIT****T is home now, but pray for those involved anyway

Por que?

While I'm in the break room trying to rest my eyes from the computer screen I overhear a conversation. It's Slim Shady and some new girls talking about income tax refunds.

It's November 4th, why are we mentally spending our refunds all ready and for non necessary stuff at that? The only one out the group making sense was a coworker that will be dropping twins next year, bless her heart. Any money she get will go to get them situated, as it should IMO.

Why are they planning to go to *insert tax service* in the near future to get the refund process started? I thought preparation places started that "give us your last paycheck and walk away with cash" junk in December!

Why haven't they realized that those services rip you off?

Why haven't they realized that a huge refund is NOT a good thing! Change your tax docs around, put your money in a interest bearing account and make the ish multiply throughout the year! Or gee I don't know, spend that "extra money" during the year and not wait till the beginning of the year to be close to or in the black! Just a thought.

I just kept my mouth shut.

We love the "black lottery" don't we?

*smh*

Oh since the rest of yall have seen what I'm looking like these days, I guess I can share this now...

http://www.wral.com/entertainment/statefair/video/6214095/

0:27 far left and 1:00 right after they show the money and tickets on the table. Don't blink.

Deal with it

Here I am, 11/3/2009, not even a 1/2 hour ago.....I strongly dislike this picture.

I've been having image issues for awhile now. Lately these issues have been heightened by having the chance to see who will be in the DPT program with me through a Facebook group. At first I felt kinda bad because nobody in my soon to be class looked like me. Then recently I've been given a big brother from the class of 2011 and a big sister from the class of 2010. In befriending them on Facebook I got to see what some of the other classes look like and again...no morbidly obese, no blacks, no naturally locked hair...just pretty and petite Caucasian chicks and athletically built Caucasian guys.

It dawned on me that I haven't taken a picture and shared it with people since I graduated in December! So in an effort to deal with this bs I am throwing myself out there and forcing myself to deal with it. I'm eating better, I'm making use of the gym, I am making progress and I will make peace with my image issues.

Ladynay, teachers assistant

Awhile back I agreed to be the room parent for Pooka's class. I also volunteered to spend some time with the kids on Monday mornings since I stopped going to the hospital. Today was my first Monday and it went like this....

Walk through the classroom door, the teachers eyes light up and she tells me that she's glad I'm there. I ask her what does she need for me to do and she tells me to take Pretty braids (self explanatory), Or Man (pronounces the word "our" like "or" and when you correct him he'll say "our", then say "or" again) , and Smarty Pants (very chatty child who is a valedictorian in the making. I could do a blog about him alone but I won't) to the library and then she quickly ran over some reading activities she wanted me to do with them. Off to the library. Soon as we get in the hall Smarty Pants starts talking. He doesn't stop talking till we are walking back into the classroom an hour later *sigh*We get to the library, find us a spot to work and get down to business.

"So your Pooka's mom?" Smarty Pants asked.

"Yes" I replied.

"Do you know that Pooka can draw? She's one of the best in the class!" He says and his 2 peers chime in in agreement.

"Yes, I know she likes to draw. Now let's read page 5" Ready to get down to business.

Or Man speaks up. "She doesn't think she can. When she draws and we tell her it's good or we like it she either turns it over and says it's bad or she rips it up and throws it away"

This grabs my attention. "Really?"

"Yep! She don't like working in partners either!" I ask to be her partner a lot but she always wants to work by herself." Pretty Braids adds.

"Me too!" The other two say together.

"Jinx!" Smarty pants yells while pointing at Or Man and they all break out into giggles.

I get them focused and we go through the activities. Through these activities I learn a lot that I am not suppose to know about these kids and part of me wanted to take the counselor role. For example, we were doing an activity where I would hold up a word, they would say it, define it, and use it in a sentence. If they miss it I tell them the answer, put the word to the side and give the child the word again randomly, which is how Or Man got his name. So I hold up the word "brought" for Pretty Braids. She says it and tells me what it means. Her sentence was....

"My daddy brought his girlfriend a motorcycle"

Before I could finish my praise for her correct response she adds....."They are getting married in January. I don't want them to get married."

I was stuck for a hot second! I mean, what was I supposed to say to that????? So I didn't repond to her additional statements. I just kept it moving with the activities until it was time to go back to the classroom. We get back to class and the teacher is lining them up to go somewhere. She thanks me repeatedly and I get a good feeling knowing that the tiny part I did helped her out a lot. YAY!

I pick Pooka up from TKD and we discuss this whole not wanting to work with a buddy and tearing up artwork that her classmates seem to enjoy. From the discussion I got that Pooka feels it's harder to work with someone and that she's basically over critical of her drawings no matter the praise she gets. We have started to work on it and hopefully it'll get better with time.

At the end of the discussion Pooka told me that her 3 peers said I was "cool" after I left. YAY! I'm a cool mom! :-)

As for me. I've completed one novel and have started the second. I've started on the paper by answering the questions as they apply to the first novel, but one particular question is harder to answer than one would think! Glad I got some think time to figure it out.

OH! Totally forgot to blog about Halloween! I worked from 7-7 like a normal Saturday. Get home to a already costumed Pooka, freshen up and hit the mall. Walk in and notice the sign that said Mall Trick or Treating was Friday!!!! Pooka had her I'm disappointed but I'm going to act like I'm not face on. I told her I'd take her to the grocery store and she could get whatever candy she wanted. She liked that idea! So while in the store I'm thinking Pooka is going to pick up all kinds of stuff right? She picks up a KitKat and tells me she's ready to roll! I ask her if she is sure that's all she wanted and she said yeah! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Everyone comes home happy! The end! LOL!

Free time over bitch!!!!

This afternoon I picked up my mail and saw an envelope from Elon. My guess was that it was a letter telling us about orientation next year. I already got my financial aid statement which pretty much said that even with the money I am getting that I don't have to pay back, I will still owe somebody some money for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng time after graduation. I get in, put my stuff down, open the letter up and basically read a 2 paged, duplexed letter from the doctor chick that will be teaching and showing me how to cut up and play with dead humans in January. The letter basically said free time over bitch! LOL! Check this out. This is what I need to complete before the first day of school.....

1) Complete 8 chapter exams. If I get an 85% or higher on at least 6 of the 8 I don't have to take the final which will be given next year.

2) Read 2 of 3 novels and write a paper on them answering specific questions. This means all my smart, English loving, word manipulating, editor at heart friends should be hearing from good ole Ladynay again real soon! *smile* I'mmmmm baaaaaaaack! Don't run! Yall know me and proper written English don't get along very well. It don't like me and I don't like it!

and 3) Buy 4 books. Well, 3 books because I already own 1 that's on the list *holy spirit dance*. Found 2 used on Amazon for cheap *holy spirit dance pt. 2* and 1 I can't seem to find online.....yet *pout*.

I already ran out and picked up one of the novels from the library. It's 308 pages of small print. YAY! My plan is to have the paper done and out for review in 3 weeks then start on the online chapters and exams. I want to have the exams done by time I go home for Christmas. I will consider that my gift to my damn self! LOL!

So if I am not commenting or visiting your site very often, it's not because I don't like your site anymore, it's just that a sista gotta read and start getting her head prepped for learning how to play with dead people like Dr. G does on tv! I heart some Dr. G!

In love with the aisle

Because I can't gossip about it at work and this is about a coworker, who I will name Dreamer, I chose to blog right quick, LOL!

Now a little back story on Dreamer. Dreamer and I have been working together for about 5 or 6 years. When she first started she ALWAYS talked about her boyfriend/fiance Brown. Everyone willing to listen heard her stories and anyone willing to look saw pictures. That good and dandy. You're in love and you want the world to know. I can dig it. The only issue with Dreamer is that after awhile her stories didn't connect anymore giving you the vibe they were not together anymore but she wanted to keep up like they were. Okay, no prob. Nobody called her on it, just had internal questions. Then she stopped talking about him all together. The talk of wedding stuff never stopped though.

Flash forward to this year. She is in love and dating a pastor. They are planning to get married of course. All is good. Flash forward to yesterday. She is asking people out the blue "when I get married, will you come to the wedding?" It strikes most people odd because like I said, the question just comes out the blue. Now flash forward to a few moments ago. I hit up the break room to see what I can buy to keep me awake for the next hour and a half. As I am tossing my coins in the drink machine Dreamer comes in.....

Dreamer: Hey Ladynay, how you doing?

Me: Fine Dreamer, and yourself?

Dreamer: Oh I'm good thanks for asking.

*my drink releases and as I'm bending to get it I see in my peripheral that Dreamer stopped what she was doing which means she's about to start a convo, I curse in my head because most of us who know Dreamer know better than to get into a conversation with her, I do my best to keep it moving*

Dreamer: You use to live in Maryland right?

Me: *curses again internally* Yep *still walking*

Dreamer: *walking with me* You heard of such and such MD?

Me: *cursing yet again internally and stops walking* Yeah. *thinking my short answers will tip her off that I'm not trying to talk*

*Insert 1 million and 1 questions about a city I've never been in long enough to answer any of them. I have no clue why she kept asking questions when clearly I didn't know!*

Dreamer: You remember Brown? The guy I used too..

Me: *cutting her off* Yeah I remember him.

Dreamer: He got this job in such and such MD.

Me: That's great. *attempting to make my exit*

Dreamer: I may be moving out there with him. That's why I was asking you so many questions about such and such MD.

Me: What? I didn't even know yall were back together! *voice in my head YELLING at me reminding me that asking "What happened to pastor" would be a fatal mistake, I listen to myself*

Dreamer: Yeah girl, you wouldn't believe how long we been together....*insert story about them being together since she was 19, how she ran into Brown's father and how his family can't wait for her to be apart of them, blah blah blah.....

Me: That's nice.

Dreamer: He's getting himself together and I am working on me.

Me: We all trying to get it together *walking towards break room exit, back towards Dreamer, she gets the msg that I am done speaking*

Dreamer: all right, talk to you later

Me: *throwing up my standard peace sign still walking away*

Now 1) When did Brown come back into the picture?
2) What happened to Pastor?
3) Does she really think Brown wants her up there?
4) Hell, does Brown even know she ran into his father and got all these thoughts now
5) Do they even talk anymore?

Now Dreamer is exactly like her blog name. She always has her head in the clouds, always talking about a wedding...her wedding...man or no man...

One sure way to piss Dreamer off is to announce your engagement to the office. Her whole attitude changes for the worse for a minute. It's quite entertaining to me. The state job has thrown many a wedding shower for coworkers since she's been here and Dreamer is NEVER there to participate in any of them!

Anywho, my thing is how can someone be so in love with the thought of marriage? Why can't us women see that if a man hasn't "put a ring on it" and yall been kicking it for 15+ years, the chances are STRONG he not going to wife you. It don't take the average man THAT long to figure it he wants to settle with you. I don't claim to know men, but I do know that daggone much!

I want to go to her and break it down to her, but I know it will go into one ear and out the other. I want to tell her that most of us that she is talking to strongly believe that Brown has moved on and is doing his thing in MD now not studdin' Dreamer. That if he wanted her to go with him he would have asked her to. That an 15+ (I add the plus because I don't know her age, but she appears to be in her mid to late 30's) year on and off engagement is not a good sign. Part of me wants to tell her that most of her stories only make sense in her mind. Part of me want to snatch her out the clouds and wake her from the on going dream she's having.

Somniloquy

According to my boyfriend I have this and had it for quite some time. Somniloquy is the term used to describe people who talk in their sleep. When it is brought to my attention I am usually just curious about what I said. From what I understand, more often than not I can not be understood when I do it. This leaves Snookums to go "huh" wanting me to repeat myself and me not respond. Recently I apparently wanted to talk about music during my slumber, but the conversation didn't remain as clear on my end as the verbal exchange went on. *shrug*

So weird! What if one day I admit to killing Roger Rabbit in my sleep??? LOL! I joke, but it does scare me that I have no control over what I may say in my sleep and when I wake up I'd have no clue I said anything!

I've been reading different sites that talk about somniloquy and I think mine is harmless and not a sign of a more serious medical issue. For that I am happy.

Money well spent

On Sunday I had a fat girl moment. On my way to my car to leave my weekend job I noticed the person who parked their pretty black sports car next to my driver's side parked way too close. There were about 6 or 7 people hanging out shooting the breeze not far from where I was. At first I thought I'd go back in and wait for the sporty black car to move, but that car could be there overnight so no go. Then I thought I'd get in on the passenger side and move over, but that would be too entertaining to the young college folks hanging out to witness, so no. I chose to give them an even better show. I some how managed to squeeze and wiggle myself in my car on the drivers side. I can only imagine what I looked like! LOL! As soon as I secured my spot I looked in my rear view mirror and sure enough the crew were all smiling from ear to ear looking in my direction! Great!

With my ears literally starting to burn I drove away image conscience and tried to put it behind me. I mean skinny folks can have folks park too close and they'd have to maneuver as well right? But my mental being could not let it go. I told myself for the 14,305,683,723 time it was time to hit the gym and make more use of that year long membership I brought back in January. Make that money I put down way back when money well spent. So far so good. I didn't know I'd actually miss being in the gym! Go figure! The current plan is to continue to make use of the gym Monday-Friday between 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m.! Why 5? Cuz it's a proven fact that once I get home after work it's very hard to get myself motivated to go workout. :-P

*imaging what I could be looking like at this very moment had I been hitting the gym hard since January* *sigh* Oh well, no day like the present to work on my dime pieceness. Yeah, dime pieceness, shut up! LOL!

Halloween party

Momma worked 12 hours, went to the store to buy the drinks she said she'd bring, got home, washed, threw on fresh clothes and took her daughter to her TKD's annual Fall Festival. There were way too many folks there and Pooka had a GREAT time! Here are pix.

Face painting.

Na na Na na Na na Na na Na na Na na Na na Na na Bat Girl!!!!!! Bat Girl is waiting for her giraffe balloon. I don't know who Marge Simpson is but she was FUN.NY!!!

Party goers.

More party goers.


Head Master playing with the guests.

Trini dude and his daughter mini Trini dudette bumblebee.

Master Kick your ass with one hand.

Head Master Kick your ass with one finger and his baby WTF. :-P

OK now, momma tired, good nite!